Dazed and Confused

In college one of my favorite movies was Dazed and Confused. I never knew the movie would relate so much to my life now.

Matthew McConaughey’s character says one of my favorite lines, “I keep getting older but the girls just stay the same age.”

This, as it turns out, is my life in retail. When I started the store, I was 30 and my manager was 23. The pattern continued over the years—except for the part about me being 30. Everyone that works at my store, it seems, is perpetually and always, under the age of 30. I however, am within an equinox of 40—despite the fact that I have only admitted to being in my “late 30s” for a matter of months.

The reality of my Dazed and Confused status set in when I went to get my eyes checked for the first time in 12 years—an appointment spurred by the fact that I kept bringing out the wrong sized shoes for customers. I was certain I had an allergy that simple drops could fix. Oh, no.

On Friday, you see, I found out that I need bifocals. Brutal. My 96-year-old grandmother wears bifocals but she hasn’t needed them my whole life. What does this say about me?

Since I have never picked out glasses I thought I would have you all help me out. Let me know if you like one of the pairs below or think I should start over.

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